Attack of the 5-foot woman

A rude awakening: Med schools doing pelvic exams without consent

A disturbing article in the Globe and Mail brings to light a very creepy medical school practise of using women unconscious from surgery as a teaching tool for med students.

“Imagine that you are undergoing a fairly routine surgery – say, removal of uterine fibroids or hysterectomy. During or right after the procedure, while you are still under anesthesia, a group of medical students parades into the operating room and they perform gynecological exams (unrelated to the surgery) without your knowledge.”

It is so obviously not okay to do a pelvic exam on an unconscious person without their prior consent - and from the comments on the story, everyone seems to realize this except the medical schools still doing it.

“She polled her fellow students and found 72 per cent had also done exams on unconscious patients, without consent, confirming that it is routine.”   

The rationale for the prodding is that students can practice a “delicate, invasive examination without causing the woman pain or embarrassment.”

But here’s the thing.

It’s always going to be a little bit embarrassing to have your legs in stirrups and your nether regions in a stranger’s face. It gets less awkward after having been through a few pelvic exams with a respectful, gentle doctor.

And how exactly does the doctor learn to be gentle without the woman conscious to say “Ow, that hurt”?

A conscious, consenting patient would not only be way more ethical, but also probably a better way for doctors to learn.

Parenting with love in the face of hate

Breaking news in the world of ‘who does this surprise?’.

A new study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family says that two moms are as good as a mom and a dad.

Two American sociologists spent five years reviewing past studies on the gender of parents and the outcomes for kids. Their findings: gender doesn’t matter, it’s about good parenting.

“Without exception, the studies showed that, on average, children of lesbian couples fared no worse than their counterparts. They played more with their children, spent more time with them, and were less likely to use physical discipline. Their children, in turn, were more accepting of difference in others.”

Research like this is very much needed at a time when more and more U.S. states seem to be voting to ban same sex marriage.

The Toronto Star has a really great article with the sociologists behind the recent study.

And the award goes to...

The hands-down best part of the Golden Globes on Sunday was Mo’Nique’s acceptance speech when she won best supporting actress in a dramatic movie ‘Precious’. (Warning: some of these links contain spoilers.)

Watch the video here.

‘Precious’ is based on the novel Push by Sapphire is about an abused, illiterate, poor, pregnant black teen. Precious gets transferred to an alternative school where she finds the support to start standing up for herself.

I haven’t read the book or seen the movie, yet. I so want too, but I’m also a little afraid it might completely break my heart.

A rose is just a stupid flower

One of my (un)feminist guilty pleasures last year was getting a wee bit addicted to The Bachelorette. I’m not proud of it, but it was entertaining. 

So with a new season of The Bachelor starting this month I figured I’d give it shot. By the second episode Monday night I think I’ve had about all I can take. (Spoiler alert.)

It was bad enough that none of these girls are showing any personality - unless you consider narcissism a personality.

Then Monday night there was a big kerfuffle because one of the contestants was caught “cheating” with a staff member on the show.

Rozlyn Papa says they were just friends, the show’s host is calling her a liar... it’s all very reality tv and not very interesting.

What’s fascinating is that Rozlyn is considered to have “cheated” on a man who is simultaneously dating, like 20 women.

I guess the premise of the show is that all these contestants come to compete for the attention of one person. Maybe the idea that there are other men who could interest the contestants just throws the whole concept into a tailspin.

And it was probably a bit of irresistible drama, for a genre built on bad drama.

But I don’t understand why she had to be kicked straight off the program. I think it would have been way more interesting to let the Bachelor decide whether to cut her at the next round of eliminations.

Or better yet, leave it alone until it all blows up in someone’s face - isn’t that what reality television was made for?

Crossing the line

I love Toronto Star columnist Rosie DiManno. I love how bold and fearless, and frequently controversial, her opinions are. Often I love completely disagreeing with her.

In her column today, DiManno laments the broad application of sexual assault laws that brought down Saskatchewan Roughriders GM Eric Tillman.

Last summer, Mr. Tillman took several sleeping pills and pain killers for back pain and was sent home from work for acting oddly. He arrived home, where the 16 year-old babysitter was caring for his two young kids.

The girl bent over to feed one of the kid and when she straightened up, Mr. Tillman grabbed her hips and pulled her backwards until she was pressed against his body. “There was physical contact that was clearly of a sexual nature. This occurred without the consent of the complainant and she told the accused, ‘No’,” the Crown prosecutor told the court.

DiManno calls this “a crude, coarse gesture, hugely inappropriate, to say nothing of a betrayal of trust between an adult and a minor in his employ. But sexual assault?”

Last week, Mr. Tillman pleaded guilty to sexual assault and the next day was granted an absolute discharge, and will not have a criminal record. He has since quit his job with the Roughriders. 

In her column DiManno says: “But underpinning revulsion for his behaviour is – to my mind – a patronizing and infantilizing attitude toward the victim. The subtext, unchallenged, is that a teenager who apparently had her bottom rubbed or grinded by an adult male was traumatized or sexually assaulted. Clearly, her personal space was invaded in a sexual manner... But I don’t accept the premise, implicit in the law, that any of us – including a 16-year-old girl – are such delicate creatures that we require such paternalistic intervention by the state, police and Crown attorneys.”

I couldn’t disagree much more with her take on the law.

When I first started working in this area I remember a police brief crossing my desk. A man had been arguing with his teenage stepdaughter. He struck her and she fell to the floor. Then he climbed on top of her and dry-humped her until he was finished. I call that sexual assault, and I think that girl would as well.

So where do we draw the line between rubbing against the ass of one unwilling minor and a clothed simulated sex act against another?

We don’t and we shouldn’t have to. If it’s uninvited sexual touching of any type, it’s sexual assault.

That’s the bold, simple line.

Most victims of sexual assault know their attackers. And attacks can escalate, so what begins as an inappropriate graze can over time turn into a much more serious assault.

Sexual assault is already an incredibly under-reported crime. Putting women in a position where they have to wait for their touchy acquaintance to breach some arbitrary limit before calling in police, won’t exactly help.

DiManno says “If I were the teen’s father, I would have socked Tillman in the jaw. Had the victim been older and more self-assured, she might have done so herself.”

Does anyone else find it hilarious that while calling the sexual assault law patronizing, DiManno suggests the teen’s father should have defended his daughter’s honour and implies the victim was too young and insecure to stand up for herself?      

Yes, maybe now the teen will be confident enough to head-butt any man who comes near her. But I’d rather live in a world where my daughter doesn’t have to learn that particular skill.

And I’d still want her to call the cops after she was done tearing him a new one, because the next girl he comes across may not be as strong.

DiManno says we have “embraced the clumsy mantra of zero tolerance for female victimhood”. But overall, we live in a “zero tolerance” society.

Where you used to be able to hit someone if they hit you first, today you can get charged with assault for spitting on someone. The amount of alcohol you can consume before getting behind the wheel is steadily decreasing.

And if you grab a girl’s ass and grind it against your crotch - you can be charged with sexual assault. Because that simple line has been crossed.