Attack of the 5-foot woman

Count your lucky stars?

This week the community, and it seems the entire country, was shocked after the CFB Trenton base commander was arrested and charged with murdering two women and sexually assaulting two others.

The matter is working it’s way through the justice system, and I want to stress that none of the allegations have been proven in court.

But this blog isn’t really about Colonel Russ Williams, it’s about the women.

More than once this week, I’ve heard the two Tweed women who were sexually assaulted in September but not killed, described as “lucky”.

If a man broke into my house in the middle of the night, bound me to a chair and sexually assaulted me - I think I’d have a hard time feeling lucky.

It’s a truly monstrous situation when a woman is considered lucky because a man helped himself to her body but not her life.

I know I keep talking about this idyllic world I want for my daughters. I’d like to add to wish list that they can live alone and not run the risk of being raped and murdered.

Better sex ed means braver sex ed

Teens want better sex ed and who could blame them?

While covering the basic biology and possible consequences is information teens need, it’s really not the whole picture. Hell it’s not half of the picture.

Teenagers know that sex isn’t just about disembodied genitalia joining with potential disastrous results - disease or babies.

A recent survey shows they want to know more about healthy romantic relationships and how to tell if they’re ready to get physical with their boyfriends or girlfriends.

Sex always involves people in relationships, maybe not rock-solid, forever relationships but relationships none-the-less. I’ve known many teenagers who are as capable of healthy mature sexual relationships as most adults are.

As difficult as it can be, you have to treat them as sexual beings capable of rational relationship decisions. The hormones aren’t driving all the time.  

But teen sex is also often really complicated by past romantic issues, future uncertainty, peer pressure and even power dynamics.

Now that’s a hell of a lot harder to talk about than herpes, but it’s just as important.

The Toronto study also showed that sex health educators aren’t reaching teens from the Black, Asian, Muslim and Aboriginal communities and recommended more staff at clinics who represent both the youth and diverse communities they serve.

Here in Northumberland, we have a teen birth rate that’s consistently higher than the provincial average (17.6 mothers aged 15-19 per 1,000 teens in the county, while the provincial average was 12.5).

There is an impressive range of services in the county to support these young moms.

But if we really want to see the number decline to the Ontario average maybe we should be reorganizing our sexual health education to include local youth as the driving force in a new outreach program.

Giving poverty the finger... no, not that finger

The Help Centre is holding a ‘Raise Your Pinky’ fashion fundraiser this weekend.

The featured threads will be From The Bottoms Up and the accessories will be from Kenneth Bell and Bling on King.

There will be fabulous draws and door prizes, generously donated by local businesses.   

The Help Centre does great work in Northumberland, promoting social justice, equity, and the right to self-determination for low-income residents. The organization provides unemployed and disadvantaged Northumberland citizens with help finding stable incomes, secure housing and health.

The Help Centre and it’s sister agency the Northumberland Community Legal Centre - which gives advice and representation in legal matters related to income, employment and housing - are run by two incredible local women, who are tireless activists on behalf of those in poverty.

Poverty can affect anyone, but it tends to hit women hardest. In Canada there are 67% more low income women than men in the lowest income groups ($30,000 and under) and there are 337% more men than women in the highest income groups (over $100,000).

Poverty is totally a feminist issue, and the event this weekend is a great way to support local women - both those in need and those working to help.

The Help Centre fashion fundraiser takes place at 66 King Street East in Cobourg on Sunday, April 26 at 2 p.m. Tickets are $25 and are available at Holton Flowers in Port Hope; Sascha Pico in Port Hope; Meet At 66 King East in Cobourg; From the Bottoms Up in Cobourg; and The Help Centre in Cobourg.

For more information call The Help Centre at 905-372-2646.

Celebrating womyn!

I’ll be off next week, and I’ve been rushing around trying to get everything done on time.

I couldn’t leave my beloved blog without sending out one quick reminder about International Women’s Day this weekend.

A great group of local agencies that work on women’s issues have teamed up to screen a fascinating line-up of international films on Saturday.

So come on out to enjoy the movies and make a small donation to help cover the costs.

After all International Women’s Day comes but once a year.

I’ll see you there.

Knowing is half the battle

The Northumberland Domestic Abuse Monitoring Committee is presenting an educational session to help victims of domestic violence navigate the judicial and family court systems.

Representatives from the office of the Crown, police services, probation and parole, victim witness assistance, legal aid and others will discuss the process that takes place once a victim of domestic abuse contacts the police.

Fear of the system can stop victims from reporting abuse, so a workshop to make women understand the judicial and family court system is a great idea.

In Canada, one to two women a week are killed by their current or former partner.

The majority of women murdered by their ex-husbands or boyfriends are killed after they have left him. So women need to know what their legal rights are and what protections and supports are available to them, if they are ever going to be able to leave.   

This free seminar will take place Wednesday, Dec. 10 at the Cobourg Public Library, 200 Ontario St., from 9:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Refreshments will be served.

For more information or to register contact NDAMC Coordinator Donna Harris at donna-lifewalk@cogeco.ca or call 905-377-8702.

December 6: remembering and action

The public will gather together this weekend to mark the 18th anniversary of the Montreal Massacre, and commit to taking action to rid their corner of the world of violence against women and abuse in families.

The Abuse Awareness Project (TAAP) is holding a ceremony on Saturday, Dec. 6, to commemorate the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women.

The names of the 14 young women who were murdered in 1989 at l’Ecole Polytechnique will be read out.

Those well-known names will be followed by the names of eight people in Northumberland County whose lives have been affected by abuse and violence in just the past year.

People can then commit to doing something to counter violence by lighting a candle for their intention.

The action can be writing a letter to the editor or a Member of Parliament protesting cuts to women’s programs. Making a donation to the Northumberland Services for Women shelter or volunteering with a local organization that helps women.

The event will take place in Cobourg on Saturday Dec. 6 from noon until 12:30 at The Gathering Place, on the east side of Victoria Park across Paul Currelly Way.

Recognizing a heroic woman

A brave Oshawa woman died trying to protect her family over the weekend.

Leslie Kelly died after she dove in front of a knife to save her husband's life.

"She's a hero - I mean, she saved him," said Dave McLean, her husband's uncle, who was also wounded in the attack.

Rick Kelly, 29, and their two youngest children (Nathan, 3, and Riley, 5) were taken to hospital with stab wounds.

Gino Petralia, the 47-year-old man who killed Leslie and injured the rest of the family was later killed by a Durham Region police officer.

This woman was heroic and with headlines like "'Hero' wife slain trying to save spouse" it's good to see that her bravery and sacrifice is being recognized.

The tragic murder comes within a week of the Dec. 6 National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women in Canada.

Dec. 6 marks the anniversary of the murders in 1989 of 14 young women at l'École Polytechnique de Montréal. The gunman targeted women.

The national day of remembrance gives us an opportunity to consider and act to protect women that are victims of  violence

In Cobourg a ceremony will be held at the Gathering Site on the far east side of Victoria Park at noon.

What a hate crime looks like

This week a lesbian couple were attacked outside an Oshawa elementary school as they waited for their children.

The man who attacked the women is being charged with assault, but the women want him charged with a hate crime.

Canada’s hate crime laws only apply when people are advocating genocide or inciting pubic hatred.

To publicly inciting hatred a person must:

* communicate statements, (Does yelling “F------ dyke bitches,” count?)

* in a public place, (Outside an elementary school just as classes are letting out, couldn’t get much more public.)

* incite hatred against an identifiable group, (Against one of few lesbian parents at the school because he thought one of the women talked to his kid.)

* in such a way that there will likely be a breach of the peace. (Hitting people and screaming homophobic slurs doesn’t sound very peaceful.)

Police probably went ahead with the assault charges because that would easily stick. Hate crimes are a lot harder to prove, but there seems very little doubt that this attack was motivated by bigotry.

The truth is men like this are terrified of lesbians.

It could be insecurity because women who want other women are completely independent of men for their needs and push gender equality to a new level.

It could be the same kind of patriarchal entitlement that makes men say they “love” lesbians - you know as long as the lesbians are hot, young, filmed and well, actually more bi-curious than strictly lesbian.

Bigots like this man cannot be allowed to comfortably keep treating gay people as less than people. If we do not stand together as a civilized society and say we must move past this level of intolerance, than honestly we never will.

There will be a rally in support of these battered women in Oshawa north of City Hall at 7 p.m. tomorrow night (Nov. 14).

Tightening the belt but not the purse strings

By almost all accounts, times are about to get tight.

The U.S. is in the middle of a serious plunge on their economy roller coaster, and Canadians are worried it’s catching. Even without a major bank failing on our side of the border, there are reasons to worry.

Locally there are lots of ways to tell that things aren’t great for our economy. Just look at the upcoming Kraft plant closing, or the seemingly unending problems at GM.   

But another interesting, more subtle sign cropped up this week at the Showcase of Delectables.

The United Way kicked off their annual campaign with a goal of raising $845,000 “plus”.

But last year their goal was $845,000, which they met with $846,633.

In 2006 the campaign goal was set at $820,000 and fundraisers managed to collect over $877,000.

So it’s obvious the United Way organizers are expecting a rough time trying to raise the funding for local community groups.

“It’s a goal we can attain. We know we’ll have a challenging year, (but) we want to make sure we maintain our funding and continue the stability for our programs,” said Lynda Kay, executive director of Northumberland United Way   

The United Way gives the funds to local health and social programs. Northumberland United Way funds 16 local programs including Big Sisters Big Brothers, Northumberland Services for Women, The Help Centre, food banks and many others.    

A lot of the United Way programs help local women get back on their feet.

At the same time program providers are getting ready to fight just to maintain their funding, and economic downturn will be putting more women in need of the services.

A study out of the States this year showed that when the economy goes into a dive, women feel the pinch more then men. It’s also been well documented that more women than men live in poverty in Canada.

So while times are tight, now is no time to be tight with your money. The United Way desperately needs to reach its goal. If you can’t donate, think about volunteering with a local organization.

Think globally, act locally

Horizons of Friendship’s Latin Film Festival is in full swing and will be showing the controversial Bordertown on Aug. 21.

Bordertown, starring Jennifer Lopez and Antonio Banderas, is about the systematic violence against women working in a Juarez, Mexico sweatshop. These sexual assaults and murders are largely ignored by the authorities and relative impunity is given to the high profile criminals. Lopez plays an American reporter trying to tell the story and struggling with powerful interests on both sides of the border who want her to keep quiet.

The film was never released to theatres, some believe that’s because of Bordertown’s criticism of the American and Mexican governments and the North American Free Trade Agreement.   

Lopez won the Artists for Amnesty prize from the human rights group Amnesty International at the Berlin Film Festival. The award is given to the artist whose work brings attention to a social justice issue.

Horizons of Friendship is working to raise awareness of femicide in Latin American countries. Earlier this month, Executive Director Patricia Rebolledo-Kloques and Program Coordinator Bill Fairbairn spent several days in Guatemala at a femicide workshop with the Central American Feminist Network against Violence towards Women. 

“It’s to sensitize people when there is violence to identify that and report it,” said Ms. Rebolledo-Kloques. “People were telling very personal stories about how they deal with violence in their own lives.

The Horizons workers partnered with local activists from different grass roots organizations talking about how to combat violence, rape, mutilation and murder done against women in their communities.

“It’s looking at ways to name the issue because it’s been largely invisible,” said Mr. Fairbairn.

Ms. Rebolledo-Kloques said that years of war in Central America has created violent power as a way of life in the society, whether it’s violence from the state to the people or from men to women.

“It’s very systematic and brutal,” said Ms. Rebolledo-Kloques.

She said in many states the laws still need to be changed so those committing violence against women can be prosecuted.

The Latin Film Festival showing of Bordertown on Aug. 21 at 7 p.m. in the Cobourg Public Library is free.

“It’s an educational tool, people can made donations but it’s a community outreach program,” said Ms. Rebolledo-Kloques.

Donations for Horizons of Friendship’s efforts in Central America and Mexico can be made at the Covert Street office or online at www.horizons.ca.