Generation Without Limits

Cleaning up Ourselves

Today at our school we had an assembly about the look we give off. I have to admit, there's a lot of garbage around our school outside and on the inside. Peaking the capacity of students we have this year (around 1 500), it's obvious there is a lot more then there ever has been to clean up. A lot of students don't care if they litter, as they find it the job of the custodians to clean up after them anyway. It's not exactly the case, there are only three day custodians that work at our school, and five at night. As students we have to take responsibility of ourselves, even if it is just garbage. When we go off in our lives out of school, who will clean up after us then?

As a student body, everyone cleaned the areas surrounding our enormous school today. Plastic gloves and garbage bags in hand, all of us were ready to take charge of litter everywhere. It was honestly gruesome and horrifying how much crap there is laying around. Things that could have easily been tossed in a garbage near by, are walked by everyday, staring people in the face, yet they don't do anything. I'm sure more then half the things we picked up today could have been recycled, which is slightly disheartening.

Not only are we doing this to improve the look of our school, but also to help the community look well upon us as young adults. We're not completely helpless, some of us want to make a difference and do care about how people perceive us. I think we should do this more often and make it a regular occurrence that our school takes place in doing, at least once a month or every two months. By doing this it would help clean up the community, environment and the students morals little by little.

Hospitals

I hate Hospitals, they're absolutely atrocious places to go to but you must go to them when you need to of course. It just makes me cringe. The people you don't know and their odd illnesses. The random coughs and melancholy or anxious faces. The dim lighting and the smell you'll never get used to. Don't forget the waiting, oh my lord, the waiting. It makes you want to scream and say you're about to have an allergic reaction or chest pains for someone to see you within the hour. You must have patience when you go to the Hospital, although it's usually a virtue we don't all have.

Isat in the Hospital today for at least three hours today, close to two hours in the waiting room and one hour actually in a secluded room waiting for a doctor. The triage nurse was an elderly lady, and had a cast on her arm that looked like she just had carpel tunnel done. She typed with one finger on her bad hand, and when asking for my birth date I told her 1992. Apparently my voice was beyond her hearing when she repeated, "19... 72?"Yes, because I look like I'm nearly forty, thanks. After waiting, sitting, waiting, shifting positions, waiting, checking out Ty Pennington on the TV in that makeover home show, I was finally let in. When the Doc finally saw me it took no less then five minutes for him to tell me what was wrong and to give me a prescription.

Should have just stayed at home and Googled my symptoms, maybe find a potion that would fix it and not have to waste three excruciating hours of my life I'll never get back.

Teenage Heartbreak

So, things for the past little while since my last blog have not been "perfectly okay". This boy broke my heart, and I'll tell you all about it. I'm telling you because there are a lot of cynics out there. Too many non-believing people that think teenage romance is a hoax, that we're not mature enough to "understand" what love is, and that heartbreak is something we can bounce back from. Well it's not. We all experience it in our own ways, but in the end: teenage romance is corrupting yet uplifting.

It changes a person, for something that I'd like to say for the better, but honestly? When you see someone that you were once with, you want God in the clouds to smite them, no matter how much you once loved and cared for them. You see them and try not to make awkward conversation, while trying to suppress memories of the two of you. You grit your teeth and bare a fake smile as if everything is okay and tell yourself you're better without them.

And the uplifting part is when you realize you'll be okay. There are other people out there that care for you, and these are what we call friends. They support us, make us laugh, let us cry, and let us laugh some more when they call your ex a mean/dirty name. You learn from your experience of that horrible relationship and horrendous break-up. You clearly recognize things worked out for the better, and you move on. You can't stop for your life for a person that was in it for only so long. You deserve to be happy too.

There is history between us, as I should let you know ahead of time. We've known each other since we were eleven, and he liked me (or so he said) since he was twelve. A lot happened through out those years including a couple kisses and misses, and a fight, but we were never together. Now at the age of sixteen and a reconcile I realized he was different. Throughout our argument he still had feelings for me and all that time was lost. I decided he was different and we had a chance, I mean how can you go wrong with a guy that's liked you for four years? He never gave up on me, and that's what I valued the most.

Things were going great, then we hit a bump. Then a speed bump. And we came to a rather large hill, and he decided he didn't want to travel over Everest with me. Which really hurt when you realize you're the only one ready to face the challenge, but the thing was, we weren't there yet. So, I try my best to let him know I'm there for him. I say to him I love him, and with every fiber of my being I meant it. "I'm not going anywhere, we'll work on things when they get tough..." and I get nothing. I do everything to convince him we have plenty of time before we graduate and come to the challenges of being apart. Still, el zippo from him. He dumps me (the day after he told me he wouldn't). After a good four hour sob-fest/pity-party I pick myself up and a friend comes over to calm me down. By the end of the weekend, I convince myself, you know what, he's right. Do to his ambition to be in the army (his excuse) I believed he was thinking logically for the both of us. I hate to be alone, and while him training and being overseas, blah blah blah, things wouldn't work out. And if he were to be posted I'd move with him, and I'm not good with not seeing my family since we're close. So, I get it.

Just when I think things are going to be okay, and we talk about it and how we can still manage to stay friends, I slam right into Everest by myself. He's hanging out with a girl, meh, they were friends before, brush it off. All week, they're hanging out, euuugh... Yesterday I hear rumors of how he left me for this girl. I get rumors, I'm a controlled person. I ask him and he says he likes her but then he doesn't (and here I thought it was the females that could never make up their mind?). He never denies it though, no. And today, yet another rumor, he's now kissing this girl. Okay, so I maintain composer and I ask him. And he tells me, yes. Finally a straight answer, although the one I really don't want to hear.

Really, should I care? I mean, it's over. I was over him, I am over him. But why does it still hurt? Should it still hurt?

Was it because he was the only truthful one in the relationship and I just didn't want to believe it? Was it because it hasn't even been a week since he dumped my ass and he's sucking face with another girl? Was it because when he ended it with me it was exactly a week before my birthday, and today when I heard he kissed this other girl and tomorrow is my seventeenth birthday?

I know, I know, he never intentionally meant to hurt me. But damn, you think you know someone... Can all the mean boys that aren't ready for a relationship just have "cooties" with big bold letters written on their forehead or something? It would save so much time and oh so many tears. Don't get me wrong, I know there are girls that aren't either, but I know far more of them that are then fellas.

The truth is, I want him to be happy even after everything that's happened, and that is called heartbreak. And there's also something called karma, it just won't smite him though.

Support System

    I moved to Brighton when I was twelve and I struggled with the idea of not being with my "old friends", even though it was clear in my mind it was a half hour drive from Cobourg. Gladly, I've managed to keep my really good friends. Two really close friends of mine, that I've known for nearly a decade are still really close to me. I wish we'd hangout more often, but with hecticc school and work schedules now, add on the fact some of us only have our G1, it's hard. Thank goodness for MSN and Facebook, technology fills these gaps. 
    
    There was a girl in my class ever since I moved to Brighton in grade five. She was different with a disability, but still nice and a fun girl when given the chance. She passed away when her disability got worse a few years ago, and still gets to me sometimes. I wish I could have been different with her. Talked to her more, had more patience, helped out in some way. Her funeral was one of the hardest things I've gone through and don't think I'll ever forget. Seeing both of her parents there, crying was horrible. Losing a child is something I could never comprehend. It hurts to think if she was different she may have had more friends, or more experiences other people do. But even so, I think she got more out of life a lot of other people would. She always had a smile on her face, andhad something to talk about. You learn a lot through people you know only for a short period of time.
   
    I've lost a couple friends, just with the process of growing up. Learning who you want around you and don't. When you have a history and a lot of inside jokes it can be hard, but you move on and think about where you are now. I must say, my life the way it is now is pretty great. I have people I can depend on, laugh with and have no worries about. Sure, I miss people I used to spend time with sometimes, but I've moved on and know it's for the better. Why look back when you can look ahead with new perspective? My friends currently, are amazing and freaking fantastic people. I've never been down with the people I'm surrounded by at the moment. I love them all.
    
    You really have to surround yourself by good people. They're a support system of constant support and encouragement. They make you smile and pee your pants, give you a shoulder to cry on if you need it, and lend an ear if you want to get stuff off your chest. They're people you can rely on, and trust. People you chose to be with. You want to see them smile, and would do anything in return for them. These people teach you new lessons that will take you far.