The feeling of being late is one that you hold against yourself. It's no one else's fault but your own. When you finally come to a realization after someone else has, and for a while, there's nothing but an emptiness with nothing to fill the void of the time that was spent being late of not knowing. For someone who wants to be a writer, there weren't any words I could have tried to say to make things right. Nothing seemed possible to try to change the mind of someone who'd already had it made. The time left in between us was a gap of silence and oblivion, until the very last moment. Nothing can be fixed in those moments. The thought that I hold onto is, if something was said by the one who had been so silent there wouldn't have to be less smiles and happy moments. If that person found the courage that I had not that long ago, to speak up for themselves then maybe things wouldn't have ended so soon. If the reason for the silence was because of the time we spent together, if that's even the case, then our relationship shouldn't have made him feel like his mouth had be taped shut. "If" holds a world of possibilities. Ones that I want to know for the truths sake, and ones I don't for the sake of not wanting to ever resent someone I love so much. How do you believe someone that hurt you, even though you know they never wanted to? The pain is still fresh in your mind every time you see something, or hear a song that reminds you of them. I want to believe Mr. Silent, but I don't want him putting words in my mouth to make me believe what is true. On my own time I'll move on, knowing my own version of what happened and the possibilities. I pray to hold on to a piece of what we once had, and start from the beginning. Always growing with no need to hold grudges. I am who I am, and I write with all I have to offer. I love and I break, give and take, and sometimes I feel I don't need to know reasons behind everything.
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08/06/2009
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Emily MacDonald is a student at East Northumberland Secondary School. She plans to pursue journalism after high school.
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Some things are unexplainable and some doesn't have reason for being there
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