In The Pressbox

Somebody give me a manual

Sometimes I think life should have come with an instruction manual. 

Doesn't that seem kind of obvious to anyone else? You wouldn't jump behind the cockpit of a plane without having to read the manual first. And that's got to be one thick manual.

Instruction manuals come with absolutely everything, from toasters to mobile phones to video games. Even a new toothbrush comes with instructions!

And yet when it comes to human life itself, by far the most precious and valuable commodity on Earth, there's no manual to tell us what to do with it.

My tongue is slightly in cheek here, granted, and I'm not taking anything way from holy books like the Bible and the Qur'an, which undoubtedly provide a great deal of useful guidance to those who follow them.

But right now I'm taking about an honest to goodness manual, something the doctor can drop in your lap (or at least hand to your parents) the moment you're born. Tell me that wouldn't be useful?

I think such a book would mostly deal with our thoughts, feelings and emotions. How to manage them and control them, how to read them and properly react to them. Because ultimately I think most of our problems in life stem from our inability to do those things.

There will always be a place for practical knowledge. We need to know how to speak and read, obviously, and it helps to have at least a rudimentary understanding of math, geography, history and other topics. But I think we need to be taught far more about our minds, hearts and bodies, and from a younger age. Ideally it's the parents who would provide those lessons, but how many parents today haven't even learned them for themselves?

If you listen and learn and live, chances are you'll put that manual together all by yourself. Still, I can't help but wish it had been handed to me right at the start.

Happy Halloween

It’s close to midnight, and something evil’s lurking in the dark.

Alright, actually it’s lunch time and nothing’s lurking anywhere (I hope). I’ve just been listening to Thriller a lot lately.

As much as I miss summer, I love autumn, especially the month of October. The crisp, cold air is refreshing and the changing leaves are beautiful, alright. But mostly, I love Halloween - my second favorite holiday of the year.

For starters, Halloween is just a great idea. Think about how awesome it sounded when you were a kid.

“Let me get this straight. All I have to do is put on a costume and knock on doors, and I get free candy?”

That’s pretty cool, right? Not quite up there with a sack of gifts just for you on Christmas morning, but still pretty awesome.

And I love the imagination of Halloween. In an increasingly cynical world, it’s nice that we still have one night (or season, if you’re like me) to believe in ghosts and goblins, and to wear a costume and pretend you’re someone (or something) else.

Good old fashioned scares are hard to come by these days, and I think I know why. There are too many reasons to be genuinely frightened in our world today. Monsters have become all too real - just watch the evening news. So maybe the enthusiasm for a holiday dedicated to being scared is waning. 

But to me, Halloween is more about letting your imagination run wild than being scared. It’s about conjuring up scary stories and monster movies in your head.

It’s a temporary escape from an increasingly harsh reality.

Because as scary as vampires and werewolves may be, they’re not as scary as some of the human monsters that are out there.

Me? I’d rather live in a world with zombies than muggers.

Under Pressure

“Under pressure that burns a building down, splits a family in two, puts people on streets.”

So sang David Bowie and Freddie Mercury on their single ‘Under Pressure’ in 1981, and it applies today. Society is so much more advanced than it was even 30 years ago, but we’re under as much pressure now as we were then, if not more.

Wasn’t all this technology supposed to make our lives easier?

Think about cars. When the automobile was first invented, it revolutionized the way mankind travelled, allowing people to get to their destinations a lot faster than was previously possible. Sounds like a positive development, right? Well, drive into Toronto on a Monday morning and look for positivity. It’s more likely you’ll see throbbing veins, angry glares and middle fingers.

Think about the Internet. It has definitely changed our world, but has it made life easier?

The speed with which we now communicate and access information doesn’t seem to have made our lives more convenient. It’s actually made them more frantic and high paced. The internet, cell phones and digital cable are just some of the advancements that have turned us into a society that is constantly starved for stimulation. We crave information and we want it now. We don’t have to wait anymore, so when we’re forced to, we don’t know what to do with ourselves.  

It’s the same frustration that those morning commuters feel. When you’re used to travelling at high speed, standing still just isn’t good enough.

We’re under so much pressure, most of it self applied. Instead of forcing technology to adapt to us, we’ve sped ourselves up to the speed of light for fear of being left behind.  

If we could slow down for just a moment, we might remember what’s actually important, and what David and Freddie were really singing about.

“Can’t we give ourselves one more chance? Why can’t we give love that one more chance?”

Just breathe

Let's all take a deep breath and step down off the ledge. It's going to be okay.

Yes, the Toronto Maple Leafs got their butts kicked by the Ottawa Senators on Tuesday. Yes, Carey Price of my Montreal Canadiens looked pretty awful letting in four goals on eight shots against the Boston Bruins on Wednesday night.

None of it matters, because it's just exhibition hockey. It's meaningless. I know it's hard to tell, with the pre-game shows and the post-game shows and the call-in shows and the stadiums in Toronto and Montreal predictably packed, but these September games are nothing more than glorified scrimmages.

I'm no Leaf fan, but I wouldn't judge the team's chances in 2010-11 based on their 5-0 loss to the Sens. Mostly because that 'Leaf' team that suited up isn't the real Leaf team. For that matter, that Senators team was a fake one too. Filled with minor leaguers, and draft picks, and players who won't get a sniff of NHL action once October comes around.

I love hockey as much as the next guy, but my interest in watching the Habs play last night, aside from seeing the uniform in motion again, was getting a look at some players I've only read about. Jarred Tinordi. Louis Leblanc. Aaron Palushaj.

I wasn't really interested in whether or not they beat a Boston Bruins squad also comprised of youngsters and projects.

Smart fans don't look for wins until the regular season.

Only in Quebec

Books and essays have been written about the never ending language debate in Quebec. It's certainly not something I could adequately cover in a mere blog post.  

But I can at least comment when something like this comes down the pike. 

This bothers me on two levels; as a diehard fan of the Montreal Canadiens, and also as a proud Canadian who loves his country from one coast to the other, including Quebec. Even though sometimes, it feels like the Big Q doesn't love me back.

When you follow the Canadiens, you hear this kind of crap all the time. 'Why aren't there more french players?' 'Why doesn't the captain speak french?' 'This team doesn't respect Quebec heritage!'

While it's true that the Habs once were the dominant team in the NHL thanks to legendary francophone players named Richard, Beliveau, and Lafleur, those days are gone. The hockey world has changed. The NHL is a 30 team league and all of those teams have equal rights to draft, trade for and sign french players. There's no special rule in the league constitution that gives the Habs first right of refusal on all Quebec-born players. Nor should there be.

Secondly, in this day and age, NHL players (including francophones) enjoy far more freedom to decide where they are going to ply their trade than ever before. I'm sure it must irk some Quebecers that elite french players like Roberto Luongo, Vincent Lecavalier and Daniel Briere are not strutting their stuff on Bell Centre ice, but all of those players reached unrestricted free agency and chose to sign long term deals in other places. In Briere's case, he actively spurned the Habs in 2007 in favor of the Philadelphia Flyers, despite the fact that both teams offered him similar term and money.

That ought to tell you something.

Quebecers need to understand that times have changed and that the Montreal Canadiens are no longer an extension of their culture. Those days are gone. The best french hockey players in the world are now free to play wherever they want to and the majority choose not to play in Montreal. That's something Quebecers need to make peace with.

Once they do that, they should enjoy the game of hockey for what it is; a game. And they should enjoy the exploits of players named Gomez, Cammalleri, Price and Subban. Because they want to be in Montreal.

No bans needed

Telling someone they can't do something is the absolute best way to make sure they will do it.

Which is why I can't get behind this. 

Bans never work. Didn't Prohibition teach us that? Nobody stopped drinking; they just bought their hooch from criminals instead of legitimate businessmen.

You'd have to be pretty naive to think that the illegal status of marijuana is stopping people from partaking in it on a regular basis.

I'd even argue that smoking cigarettes wouldn't be nearly as popular amongst teenagers if they were suddenly allowed to do it. The attraction is in the 'danger' of doing something they're not supposed to be doing.

And MMA? Banning it across the country, across the world even, wouldn't stop people from doing it. It would simply head underground, where the risk of serious injuries would increase exponentially. 

And yet here's a group of doctor's taking time out of their very busy schedules to try and shut down a sport they don't even partake in, for the supposed betterment of those who do.

I've never understood our society's obsession with protecting people from themselves.

It's the same with the ongoing visor debate in hockey. Is it smart to protect your eyes from errant pucks and high sticks? Of course it is. My own personal choice would be to wear one. But I'm not going to huff and puff and argue until I'm blue in the face to make sure every last professional hockey player in the world makes that choice too. They are grown men (and women) and it's their choice to make. If they end up losing an eye, it's on them.  

By the same token, if you're a mixed martial arts fighter, you know the risks you take and accept them. Every time you enter a fight, you're aware that you risk serious injury. It's the same with boxing. When you take part in a combat sport, you risk your health. And if you fail to realize that, you have no one to blame but yourself. 

It's their risk. So let them take it.

Ribbin'

Are you ready to rib? I am ready to rib!

This weekend is the annual Northumberland Ribfest at Victoria Park. Six world class ribbers will take over the park to cook up their delicious ribs for the thousands of hungry people that show up.

Now I'm not a huge rib guy. I don't eat them all year round, I mean. But Ribfest weekend is one time when I loosen the belt buckles and eat my share.

For the third year in a row, I will be called upon to be a guest judge at the event. We judges (members of the media as well as local business owners) sample the sauce and ribs from each ribber and score them out of ten. By the end of the weekend, our favorite ribber gets the honors and bragging rights. And if you've ever been to a Ribfest, you know that ribbers aren't shy about bragging.

It's true; ribs taste better when they're free.

Martial arts a passion

I’ve always been interested in the martial arts.

If it involves flipping, kicking, or bouncing off the walls, I’m there. I think most kids have great enthusiasm for those things, and I’ve tried to keep my inner ten-year-old alive and well.

I was 13 when my parents first enrolled me in karate, and I’m glad they did. I spent the next five years learning cool things and making new friends, while getting (and staying) fit. I learned that becoming adept in a martial art can have a big impact on your self confidence and sense of personal accomplishment. When I was awarded my black belt in 2002, I had the satisfaction of knowing that I had achieved something that most people never will, and I was only 18! That accomplishment made all the other challenges in my life seem a little less daunting. I have no doubt that the success I’ve had since then, in all facets of life, is due in large part to the confidence I built during that time.     

Nowadays I’m studying tae kwon do, and once again enjoying the camaraderie and sense of mutual accomplishment you get from attending a martial arts school.  

I believe the best fights are the ones you avoid, but martial arts is about far more than just learning how to kick and punch. Of course, knowing how to defend yourself is important and something I think far more people should be invested in. 

But my real passion stems from my desire to maximize my potential in life. Great martial artists have trained their bodies to a standard most will never attempt to reach. They have honed their skills to a remarkable level. They have pushed the limits of the human body.

And I want to be able to say I have done the same.  

Where I really want to be

There's only one place I really want to be right now.

Comic-Con.

The annual 'geek mecca' in San Diego is the place to be if you're a fan of, well, pretty much any form of entertainment. Upcoming movies and TV shows are previewed there, as are video games, toys... and of course, comic books. It is Comic-Con after all.

For someone who grew up playing Super Mario, watching Batman The Animated Series and reading Amazing Spider-Man, it's basically heaven on earth.

And I've never been there. Oh, the agony!

The best I can do is follow the breaking news online of all the cool things that are going on. Maybe the entire cast of the upcoming Avengers movie will gather on stage... maybe 'Starkiller' himself, Sam Witwer, will turn up and show off some of his lightsaber moves... maybe some new footage of Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World will be shown. Maybe Stan THE MAN Lee will be there!

So many cool things happening, and I'm stuck here!

The only positive I can take out of missing the Con is that it won't be too long before I can experience it all for myself. Eventually all the movies, comics and toys they're hawking down there will be available to the masses.

And hey, there's still Star Wars Celebration!

Playing for keeps

There's no family on the golf course.

Not when you're competing in the Chamberlain Classic!

The place - Highland Golf Club in Brockville.

The teams - me, my Dad, my Uncle Tony and my Grandpa vs. my Great Uncle Bob, my Great Uncle Sid and my two Uncle's, Scott and Phil. On the line was bragging rights, and the annual championship, won by my team (minus me) the year before.

To keep things fair for us non-golfers, we played a best ball format. That means that everybody drops their ball wherever the best shot lands, and hits from there. No hacking through the woods in best ball.

The playful competition was mostly between my Grandpa and my Great Uncle Bob, who laid out the rules of engagement and made sure his team was in uniform. 

As for me, I'm not much of a golfer, even though the game seems to run in my family. There are things about golf I like quite a bit; the scenery, mostly. Some golf courses are truly beautiful places to be for three, four hours. But I've never played enough to become any good.

So I wasn't expecting much, and I certainly wasn't the team MVP, but I think I carried my weight. I managed to make one impressive long putt that would have looked good on the pro tour, along with a couple nice drives and a beautiful 200 yarder straight on to the green. Probably the best shot of my career!

 In all, our team finished up two strokes under par; not bad at all. But would you believe it, Team 'Uncle' finished with the exact same score! And they shot more birdies than us, so they won the tie break and the match, taking home the Classic championship for the year.

I couldn't be too disappointed though. It would have nice to be a part of the winning team, but we all had fun, which was the more important thing.

And it's always nice spending time with your family, even when you're competing.